So Mr. Dean Osborne is now 4lbs 7oz now, woo hoo!! Every extra ounce improves how he eats and tolerates stimulation, which in turn gets us closer to bringing him home. We think he knows this too, because he continues to impress us and all those taking care of him. The nurses and doctors still can't believe how well he is nursing and taking a bottle. At this point our main focus is just on fattening him up. He still hasn't required any oxygen support and his bilirubin has remained stable (thanks to his many, many poopy diapers that daddy loves to change!) Yesterday he had a busy day, which I'm sure was more traumatic for me then it was for him. When we arrived for his morning feeding we discovered that he had pulled out his NG tube (the tube that is in his nose and travels to his stomach) Seeing this really upset me because I could only think about how uncomfortable and maybe painful it was for him to do this. The nurse then had to re-insert the tube which he didn't like at all! Later in the day, another nurse realized that his NG tube needed to be re-placed anyways. So again he had to deal with having the tube removed and re-inserted for a second time. This got momma bear a little annoyed because I wish the nurse that re-placed the tube in the morning had noticed that it needed to be changed so he would have only had to go through that once. But like I said it probably upset me more than him, because he would stop crying almost immediately as soon as it was over.
Seeing him have these procedures performed and dealing with being poked and prodded is something that I will never get used to. I guess that makes me a mom after all :) I'm still having moments of feeling guilty about everything that happened and thinking "if only I could have just kept him in there a few more weeks...." I know that what happened wasn't my fault, but it's something I'll just have to work through. Nick and I were totally unprepared for what happened, and then to top it off we can't even have the comfort of having our little guy with us all the time. I have never been so physically, emotionally and mentally tested in my life. Leaving him behind every night is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. If I didn't have Nick as my rock I don't know how I'd be making it through this. Luckily, this won't last forever and baby Dean will be home soon. That day will be one of the happiest days in our lives!!!!
Thank you again to everyone that has posted comments and shown their support, it has really helped us!
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